I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Randomize
