I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
