so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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