just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
