I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
