good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
