took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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