the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
