You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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