Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Randomize
