is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
