DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize