Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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