I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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