Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
