i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
