Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
