I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
