No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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