They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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