Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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