She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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