So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
