currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
