Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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