I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
