Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
