the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
