we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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