Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
