you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
