Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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