he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize