The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
