What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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