i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
