ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize