so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
