More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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