I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
sex in a hospital.. check
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
