I think my vagina is haunted
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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