Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Operation Purity has been aborted
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
