Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
