Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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