Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Randomize
