All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
