I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize