Im at strip club and am horny
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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