the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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