it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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