It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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