Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
