First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize