He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
