I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
