i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
