I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
