I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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