i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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