I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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