Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I forgot how hot balto sounded
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I need mimosas to revive my soul
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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